I recently went through a heartbreak- a week before my summer break! A WEEK BEFORE MY SUMMER BREAK! I was so hurt and sad. I was watching comedy films and crying. I was crying while doing what I was doing: crying while cooking, crying while cleaning the flat, crying while folding clothes, CRYING WHILE WATCHING ADS BETWEEN FOOTBALL GAMES! I was just crying (and it felt okay).

It wasn't even that long, the "relationship", but I guess no number of days, months or years matter if you truly cared for that person. It hurts just the same. It was hard to accept that weekends will never be the same again. That evenings and some mornings would feel incomplete without the texts or memes. That McDonald's takeouts will never be as exciting.

The first 5 days were the hardest to bare. I'd cry in the bathroom, while having lunch, heck I'd even cry every after my "Good Bye" song to each class. Emotions were too heavy; I was angry, confused, happy and sad- really, really sad. It was after I sent the "hate text" when I finally felt better. I deleted all possible connections - social media and phone numbers. I deleted all message histories, pictures, videos anything to remind me of him.

I drank from (late) mornings until I pass out just before dinnertime. Bottles go empty in just a short period of time. I listened to sad songs from the 90s until the present time. I watched heartbreaking films, just so I could have a reason to cry even more.

Then I stopped drinking; because it made me realize, I'm not doing myself any good. I bought a new pair of gym shoes, and worked out every day. I made personal records every 2 days and spent longer hours in the gym as days pass.

I went to the beach, because there was no better medicine for the pain except saltwater and to get away. I used the GoPro I got you for your fishing trip.

I smiled at everyone, even strangers I met along the way. I made small-talks to people which I've always hated to do.

I reached out to people I admire, from strangers on social medias, people I've lost connections with for a long time, friends and families. I was desperate for a person. I was lonely and I was alone. What was surprising about this step is that I heard more from people I didn't expect I would. People who lent listening ears and gave their words to help me see better. I surrounded myself with people who encouraged me to be devastated, to cry and to feel better.

I wrote a lot about it- the whole experience. My journal was filled with rollercoasters of emotions. The good, sweet words that kept haunting me. The hurtful moments that I never really spoke about. The memories, the what-ifs, the maybes, the I-knew-its. Sleeping became difficult because I keep having flashbacks every time I close my eyes.

And then I've been praying; more now than I ever did before. I was talking to Him more. I am grateful because while I was praying for the relationship to work out and for him to be the one, He was actually working on removing him from my life to give way to someone better.

Three weeks after having the "not fun conversation"- I am finally over you. I finally got over being just an option, got over being second to everything else. It was never okay right from the start, but I liked you too much to walk away. You only wanted when things would be easy for you, only at your convenience, your own terms- never making me a priority.

But there are lessons I will always be thankful for from this experience- from you:
1. TRUST YOUR F***ING GUT. My gut was always right ABOUT EVERYTHING, but you made me believe I was crazy for assuming.
2. I DESERVE TO BE A PRIORITY. And never will I ever settle being just an option or a back up plan again.
3. YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE WRONG ONE. Even with all the time and effort I invested, no matter how much I cared, no matter what; I can never be as good (or more) as someone else.
4. ACCEPT AND FORGIVE. My last text may not be a good one but I forgive you. This is my only consolation so I can freely move on.

5. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE. It's not the end of the world. He is not the last of the good guys. There will be someone out there who will be everything he's not.
6. DO  NOT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. Self-care is very important. Knowing your worth is the key and most important part of self-care.

Science reveals that an occasional Boys' Night Out is good for the relationship. It's a perfect time for the ladies to enjoy a night alone- Be guilt-free about being messy. Enjoy a bag of chips and a bottle of wine without sharing or watch cute animal videos over and over again.

You see, most sane women will be A-OK with BNOs because we all know what happens during BNOs- video games, "pissing game" of who travelled more (or who lifts heavier), movie reviews, beers, pizza, farting, loud burps  and more video games. However, on (hopefully) occasional circumstances, some women tend to become insecure because of what you are doing (or not doing).

Here, let me tell you what makes a sane woman go "in" (insane, insecure, intrigued):

"The Friends"  Ever heard of "Women's Instincts?" Women in general don't hate your friends for no reason. There's always a reason and sometimes it's for your best interest. Therefore, if your woman is giving you a hard time over "this/these friend/s", it's only because she feels that they may have the "influence" on you- whether this friend smokes/drinks a lot (while you're trying to quit), this friend is known to cheat, or constantly being negative and complaining about everything. She only want what's best for you and that includes the people you surround yourself with. You owe it as her boyfriend to listen to her point. If she's being irrational, talk to her. Communicate why she needs to trust you but never try to prove her 'gut feeling' wrong. You'll give her one good reason to not trust you more.

"Jealousy/Insecurities"  Okay, I will humble myself down and say that these feelings (jealousy and insecurity) are very common among women. It's just normal. Women get jealous when they see their man getting fulfillment out of any thing, time or body (among others) that is not her. This is especially true if she's seeing another side of you that doesn't come out when you're with her (shocking isn't it? ha).

If this is how your woman is, chances are there's a certain lack of fun and/or attention in the relationship. I know, I'm rolling my eyes with you but that's just how women work. (your) Life will not be this colorful without us! Sorry!

So how do we deal with this? Don't keep her out of the loop. This doesn't mean calling her every minute to report. Include her in your other relationships too. You don't have to physically bring her to your BNOs, but you could let her in as little or as much as possible. Tell her about a funny joke or something significant that happened that night.

Girls are fairly understanding when not triggered to doubt and overthink. You wanted this, make it work for your drama-free BNOs and her sanity's sake.

Next on the list is EDUCATION. School is very important! I know you’ll meet cool people and would even be friends with them, because duh, you’re a cool girl! But try not to forget about your studies. Trust me, it will all come in handy when you’re older. Oh and one more important thing to remember, do not lose your school notes! I hate myself right now for not having a single note from class.

Ahhhh! Love and friendships! In the coming years, your world will revolve around these two things. You will think that they are more important than anything else in the world. You will skip movie nights with your family because you have an important 3-way call from your bestie and her crush, or you’d keep asking for extra cash to top-up your phone credits to text your crush. You will hear stories about love from your gran and gramp, mom and dad, uncles and aunties and you would think love is such a wonderful thing to have. Oh it sure is! But honey, by the time you really understand what love means, the whole love game manual will completely be revised. It's not going to be the same 20 years from now (even 10 or 15 maybe). You'll think you'll find the "one" for you and you will feel you've given him everything, so when he leaves, your whole world will turn upside down. You will meet guys who will tell you "you're the only one", believe them when they say that but don't be surprised to find out that they're in-love with someone else while seeing you. Ghosting will also be a thing! So will cheating, leading on, casual dating and relationships without labels. Sounds fun right? So kid, live your life as a child. Don't rush to grow up! Play and sleep a lot because life gets tougher as you grow older.