I want to text and ask about your day, but I just sent a funny meme not long ago.

I want to see you today, but we just met yesterday.

I want to hear your voice, but I'm scared you'll think I'm clingy.

I am in a constant battle with my head. I almost never feel secured with anything. I make scenarios in my head only to make myself feel miserable. It is an eternal plight of discomfort.

I'm always in constant fear. Fear of meeting new people, finding friends and entering a potential stable relationship.

I know my anxiety will ruin everything for me eventually. Everyone I care about. My friends will eventually get tired of texting me as I keep leaving them unanswered. I am tired of being the toxic one because I keep turning down invitations.

It's constant battle but I know I am bigger than all the things I worry about. I will not allow my anxieties ruin a possibility I may have with you. Please be patient with me as I learn how to be with myself.

Dear God,

I think too much, God. I'm sure you know this well. My thoughts are running wild and my guess is you're probably laughing at how silly the things I worry about are. I worry a lot. I worry over things that haven't happened yet. I worry about people who are just entering my life. I worry over words I've said or didn't say.

I need your help, God.

Please bless my worried mind and calm it. Touch my pouting lips and replace them with smiles that could brighten up other people's days as well. I pray that you remind me that I am not in control of what happens in my life. That you are bigger than any of my fears.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I know You're there, even if I can't see you. I know You're near me, ready to protect me, to listen to me, to save me and to catch me.