If you have not seen Grey's Anatomy S11E21 "How to Save a Life," DO NOT continue reading. Spoilers ahead!

It was Friday after work when I did my usual Facebook check. I was taken aback with the first three updates I saw on my timeline. 

"NOOOOOOOOO!" my cry was almost loud for people in the train to hear. My knees were shaking,  I was almost ready to cry. I stopped myself from reading on, maybe, I was hopeful, it's just a premonition, or a dream, or you know how series play plot twists all the time.

I delayed myself to seeing the episode. I wasn't ready. I don't think any of the Grey's Anatomy fans would ever be ready.

Grey's Anatomy S11E21 "How To Save A Life"

Yes, there were rumours about Patrick Dempsey leaving the series, but the fans were assured that he is still in for a year more. Fans didn't expect his exit to be this quick! Too soon! Gone too soon!

Derek Shepherd is why I have insanely high standards for men. To commemorate my love for him, below are (just) SOME of the reasons why he is my ultimate McDreamy:

 1.  I love how Derek is so honest with how he feels. Yes, he made a mistake of not telling Meredith he was married when they met but didn't let Meredith feel that she was just a revenge or someone he just hooked up with. He acknowledge his feelings for her and fought for it. 

2. I love how effortless he makes every girl swoon over him. EVERY GIRL!

3. How his kisses felt so real that you could feel a pinch in your stomach because "I SHOULD BE THE ONE HE IS KISSING INSTEAD OF MEREDITH!" Okay, no. Sorry, I am still uncalibrated from his death as I type. 

4. How he gives impossible standards for #relationshipgoals. Real life Derek Shepherd.. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!!!

5. He looks so hot with babies you want one or seven from him! (didn't mean to sound creepy lol)

Last but definitely not the least, one of the few best Neurosurgeon, a loving husband, a great father, the eyes, hair, facial hair, smile, affection and the list will go on, these are the things why he deserves to be called McDreamy. 

And now, I have no idea how to pick my pieces back up together after this. I am devastated. I am sad. 

To further exacerbate the situation, here's ABC's tribute to our McDreamy. *cries out louder*